Notsofunny: April 2007

Yay! Finally my virgin post to the notsofunni blog! At least you can hope for something pure after the JZ's *shake head* post. But I am afraid, judging from the pictures I am about to post, this entry will still be NC16, so everyone, please ensure that no young children are hanging around you while you view this post. It may leave scars in their innocent minds. ;p

Before you start assuming that the focus of this picture is the madness displayed by JZ and Leon, look again... Did you spot how wide HY's mouth can get and also what headless Ken and YS looks like??

Serious already. Serious one. This is the one serious picture they took.

But then they decided that it was not fun being serious, so they went for the cool look. Up and coming boy band in town. Can fight with 5566 already..

But every famous bands have their scandals. This one is no exception. Next time when they become famous, we can use this to blackmail them! WHahahaha!

Finally finally when I thought we could take a decent picture, I was so wrong. When can anything ever be decent with JZ around right? And yes, in case you are wondering, the thing Ken was holding is a banana. And YS cannot for his dear life let go of that doggie. I think it has become his source of security on this fateful night when he felt so vulnerable. ;p

Ok, that's all folks for the interesting stuff. As for the details of it, unfortunately, they are kept within the 4 walls of my house. So if you ever want to find out what you missed, make sure you come for the next chill out session at 10 Chwee Chian View. But no guarantees that SCJ7777H will bring you home. ;p

So, YS, I hope your heart did not like stop beating when you saw a post by me. Hehehehe.. Don't worry lah, we will remember the 4 walls promise.. Brotherhood honour! ;)

Brother Jasmine

As usual, the blog is getting boring, and I wish I can just gossip about ANYTHING I WANT here, but then again I might not live to see tomorrow. So, as usual your friendly and cute and charming and.. never mind. Im just gonna post some jokes, hoping it will lighten and brighten your day!

A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

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An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.

As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!"

"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me that he thinks you're really cute!"

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A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Shit! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

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At a mother-child counseling session, the psychiatrist said “we all have obsessions.” Then, turning to the first mother, he said “you have eating obsession, that’s why you named your daughter “Candy”.

Then turning to the second mom, he said “You have money obsession, that’s why you name your daughter “Penny”.”

Before he could start on the third mother, she was already pulling her son out saying “come on Dick, let’s go...”

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A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.

As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on

."

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

"I can't wear your trousers." she said.

"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family."

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on."

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."

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A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in New York.

The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him.

The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy by laying down 3 conditions:

"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond."

Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told her the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"

The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation.

"Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Hamptons along with a 40-acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of France."

The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal broker in New York, then called another broker in France, and after his quick conversation, he said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!"

The secretary was very startled, and knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to.

"Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10-inch penis."

A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"

I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I did!

Your Accountant

Jing Cute